Well...... Here I am, awake at 2:45 in the morning. This time last year, my average bed time was around 11:00, roughly the same time it was when I was in high school. However, since this week I am working mostly late-mid shifts and don't get off until after midnight, my body isn't quite tired at the time most people are in bed. So here I sit and write.
As someone who is recently single, it's amazing all of the many observations I have made upon this new found life I am forced to live. Here are just a few of the observations I have made while enduring this awkward time in my life:
1. It is either feast or famine when it comes to relationships.
That's right folks, when you're dating someone, all of these guys/girls just come out of the wood work and magically want to date you and fall dramatically in love. I mean really, when I was with my ex, there was a point in which I had FOUR guys interested in me at one time. Now I am by no means the most attractive person in the world mind you, so the fact that I am taken and have this many people crushing on me is quite a bit irritating. So now, many moons later, I am single, available, ready to be wined and dined, and where are all of these guys now??? Hell if I know, they are no where to be found. So yes, I sit, and am annoyed.
2. Everyone around you is starting to become in a relationship.
As I'm sitting browsing along on Facebook, I notice that there are 5 love matches in my news feed, telling me that Billy and Betty have fallen madly in love and now are starting to date. And what is irritating is that all of these people haven't dated anyone since Pocahontas roamed the earth. Not only are people starting new relationships, but it's also that time where people are getting married, having children, and blah blah blah. It's quite the nauseating scene.
3. You look in the mirror and are disgusted with what you see.
There's nothing like a hardcore break-up that rocks the core of your self-esteem more. With me, I all of a sudden feel this complete sense of ugliness, and feel as if I'm just the next great sumo wrestler. I know when I was with Chris, I was happy, comfortable, and frankly I didn't care who I was trying to impress because I was with the love of my life and that's all I had eyes for. Now, even if I'm making a run to the gas station, I find myself making sure that I look halfway decent because who knows what big and glamours star will be there when I arrive. The whole thing is just so stupid, yet I can't seem to help think that I need to impress others due to a lower confidence level that now exists within me.
4. Anything and everything reminds you of them.....
This last glaring observation has also been the worst and hardest one for me to deal with. I went to the grocery store yesterday, and in grocery shopping I all of a sudden became very sad because I realized that I was shopping solo, something that I hadn't done very much or frequently in a long time. I hear certain songs on the radio and I think of him. Places I go, people I see, dreams I have, and things I find when I go shopping all have me think of him, and part of me forgets just for an instant that we aren't together and everything is back to normal.
Reality is harsh, whether that be how you feel when you look in the mirror, financial problems, stress, or in my case, a break-up. I am told by many people that God has these great things in store for me, a plan yet to be unveiled, one to be released in His timing. While I agree and believe with all of my heart that this is true. it's still hard to understand why things happen when they do. Nevertheless, who am I to question a higher authority. I just have to trust that He knows what he's doing, and I'll meet Mr. Right in due time.
Don't forget: Philippians 4:13.
Until next time,
~Jonathan
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Introduction
Well hey, everyone. Honestly, I'm surprised that I've waited until now to type my first blog. I love to write, and what better way to do not only something I enjoy, but I also get to talk about myself! But in all seriousness, I have recently had a lot of frustrations built up inside of me and I figured a healthy outlet like writing it out might be what the doctor ordered.
For those of you who don't know a lot about me, my name is Jonathan Rowe, and am 24 years old living in Carmel, Indiana. I recently graduated from Ball State University this past May with a degree in Hospitality and Food Management. Upon graduating, I landed a job working as an Assistant General Manager with Yum! Brands, specifically working with the Taco Bell company. While I never thought fast food would be an industry I would work in, it's a great paying job right out of college, and surprisingly enough, I enjoy what I do. It's been a great blessing and comfort knowing I have a steady paying job in a reliable industry. I look forward to the many challenges and opportunities that come my way over the coming months.
Throughout my life, I have been blessed with an amazing family. As someone who is openly gay, the love, respect, and support that I have received from my family has been truly remarkable. While it hasn't always been easy and the journey has sometimes been very difficult, in the end I would have to say that it has brought my family closer than ever before. Recently my boyfriend and I of almost 2 years decided to call it quits, none of it being my doing mind you. We were on a random trip to the grocery store when I get informed that he's no longer in love with me. What makes it even worse is that we live together, have a dog together (whom is a Golden Retriever named Chloe and is the most adorable thing in the world), and just seeing him every single day makes it hard to move past what we had. We signed this lease in our apartment back in June, so there is still quite a bit of time left. Everything with us is so complicated, and really, I have been forced to make decisions and look at alternative facets of life that I never thought I would have to do. That is one of the main reasons why I decided to create this blog, just to be able to air out, and refresh my soul, so to speak with this online journal. I am still leaning heavily on the support of my friends and family. Especially now, as we are gearing towards fall, I am seeing how much I miss having someone there with me, as it starts to get cooler. Being able to do all sorts of outdoor activities, go to festivals and doing all sorts of "fall" things with someone I truly care about creates a joy inside of me that is hard to replace. I am trusting that God has some great things in store for me, and I can hardly wait for these plans to be revealed.
Well, I think this is a pretty good starter for an introductory blog. My blog title 'Rowe'ing Along is a play of words with my last name, but also describes my journey of just rowing along downstream in this thing we call life. I look forward to welcome comments from anyone and everyone who reads my blog, and hopefully will have the opportunity to make some new friends along the way. Until next time, I leave you with my favorite scripture, which is something I recite to myself every day to help keep me going through these difficult times. Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me."
Until next time,
~Jonathan
For those of you who don't know a lot about me, my name is Jonathan Rowe, and am 24 years old living in Carmel, Indiana. I recently graduated from Ball State University this past May with a degree in Hospitality and Food Management. Upon graduating, I landed a job working as an Assistant General Manager with Yum! Brands, specifically working with the Taco Bell company. While I never thought fast food would be an industry I would work in, it's a great paying job right out of college, and surprisingly enough, I enjoy what I do. It's been a great blessing and comfort knowing I have a steady paying job in a reliable industry. I look forward to the many challenges and opportunities that come my way over the coming months.
Throughout my life, I have been blessed with an amazing family. As someone who is openly gay, the love, respect, and support that I have received from my family has been truly remarkable. While it hasn't always been easy and the journey has sometimes been very difficult, in the end I would have to say that it has brought my family closer than ever before. Recently my boyfriend and I of almost 2 years decided to call it quits, none of it being my doing mind you. We were on a random trip to the grocery store when I get informed that he's no longer in love with me. What makes it even worse is that we live together, have a dog together (whom is a Golden Retriever named Chloe and is the most adorable thing in the world), and just seeing him every single day makes it hard to move past what we had. We signed this lease in our apartment back in June, so there is still quite a bit of time left. Everything with us is so complicated, and really, I have been forced to make decisions and look at alternative facets of life that I never thought I would have to do. That is one of the main reasons why I decided to create this blog, just to be able to air out, and refresh my soul, so to speak with this online journal. I am still leaning heavily on the support of my friends and family. Especially now, as we are gearing towards fall, I am seeing how much I miss having someone there with me, as it starts to get cooler. Being able to do all sorts of outdoor activities, go to festivals and doing all sorts of "fall" things with someone I truly care about creates a joy inside of me that is hard to replace. I am trusting that God has some great things in store for me, and I can hardly wait for these plans to be revealed.
Well, I think this is a pretty good starter for an introductory blog. My blog title 'Rowe'ing Along is a play of words with my last name, but also describes my journey of just rowing along downstream in this thing we call life. I look forward to welcome comments from anyone and everyone who reads my blog, and hopefully will have the opportunity to make some new friends along the way. Until next time, I leave you with my favorite scripture, which is something I recite to myself every day to help keep me going through these difficult times. Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me."
Until next time,
~Jonathan
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